He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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