actually, I'm a sock model
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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