ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
