I accidentally burped into my bong.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
