she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
