Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
