i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
