i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
