The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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