Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
