can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
