I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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