Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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