Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
