You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
