For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
