When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
