It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
