His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
