I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she told me i tasted like america
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
