This show inspires me to have sex in space
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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