After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
someone owes me an orgasm
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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