i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
