Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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