Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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