thus making me awesome and them whores
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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