I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
