So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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