I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
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