You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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