Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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