You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
