If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
