I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
