Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
