Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
