$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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