We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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