the condom got lost in my hair
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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