Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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