My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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