I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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