I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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