I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
