let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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