Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
