I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
