that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
