Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
