Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I stole a fireplace last night.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
