sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Randomize
