Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
